I don't want to blog tonight. I just don't feel like it. But I keep coming back to this computer. I keep clicking on "New Post." Then I keep walking away. I don't think I'm going to be able to go to sleep tonight until I do it. So I'll just do it so I can go to bed already.
My Mom's birthday has always crept up on me. February is such a short month and March 1st always comes before I know it. So when I was sitting in church today and saw the date on the newsletter I received in Relief Society, I nearly jumped out of my chair. I thought about it once last week, but then not again. Today is my mother's birthday. She would have been 54. One of my first thoughts that horrible night in July 2007, when I began to understand that my Mom wasn't going to make it was, "but I still haven't bought her a birthday present!" I always thought it was kind of weird that was one of the first places my mind went.
There's not a lot I have to say tonight about my Mom's birthday. It's been interesting though, how all weekend my thoughts have turned to my family. Not just my immediate family, but my extended family. Sants, Meibos's, Warners, and Kimballs- all of them. And most if not all of these thoughts led to memories that included my mom. I always knew there was something about this Sunday School teacher I really liked that reminded me of someone. I finally figured out today that person is my Uncle Kevin (my dad's brother.) I've always loved the story my Mom used to tell of when my Mom and Dad were engaged and the whole family went to pick up Kevin after his mission at L.A.X. It was the first time she ever met him and my mom and Kevin argued the whole way home. He was probably spouting off about something my Mom didn't agree with and she took offense and let him have it. So funny. It reminded me of how much fun Sunday dinners were at my Grandma's house in Provo. How much I love my cousins and how nice it was to see them so often. Last night we were watching Law and Order and one of the characters was a judge who was suffering from dementia and had to step down from the bench. I thought it was so sad and Bobby reminded me of my Uncle Merlin and how sharp his memory was even in his late nineties. How he could remember so many of his life experiences and recount them in great detail, remembering the names of people and the year these experiences occurred. It was so hard for my Mom when her Uncle Merlin passed away. We all loved him very much. Then the practice hymn today in R.S. was "Love at Home." That reminded me of my great aunt Marinette. Good old Aunt Marinette. My Mom used to tell us this story about when she used to visit them when she was a kid. If she was in town and my mom and her siblings were fighting, Aunt Marinette would follow them around the house singing, "Love at Home" under her breath and it would drive them crazy. Then I thought about this time that Aunt Marinette was visiting us in Huntington Beach and my Dad took us all to see "Back to the Future 2." When we walked out of the movie my Mom was ticked. She was like, "Cole, I can't believe you took us to see this movie." She didn't think it was appropriate for us kids or Aunt Marinette. "And with my Aunt Marinette here!" Then my aunt piped in with, "The last movie I saw in the theater was Pinocchio." Classic.
People play that game the six degrees of Kevin Bacon or whatever. I haven't tested this theory, but I'm pretty sure I could link every aspect of my life to my mother in some way. At least I felt like that at the time of her death. Because if she wasn't directly involved, then she and I had talked about it. I talked to her about everything. And she cared about everything I had to say. I find myself trying to keep that link up even now. For example when I'm shopping, I might pick something in her favorite color instead of mine so that every time I look at it I think of her.
Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you.
I used to leave notes like this one for her when she and my Dad would go out of dates and leave us home with a sitter.
Just wanted to say that I'm thinking of you and your family
ReplyDeleteYes I know Katherine, I have been thinking of your Mom alot the last couple of days. Im glad you posted last night, I was looking for a way to send my love to you and yours, especially to my brother...but niether your blog nor his made mention...until I clicked on your blog again early this morning. Yes, Marianne is missed but what a legacy of fabulous children she has left behind to carry on her impact on this earth. Love you so much, have a beautiful day!
ReplyDeletethrough the past couple of years i feel like i have gotten to know your mom through your blog...Thank You...
ReplyDeleteKatherine you are an amazing person who has been strengthen by this and your willingness to share these wonderful memories with us is simply amazing...I am sure your mom is so proud of you for all the wonderful things you do....I enjoyed our chat the other day a walmart...only 4wks left...Happy Birthday to your mom.....
btw I love the picture of your last post i remember having those hair styles....
ReplyDeleteWhen Alyssa was born my mom cooed and loved her first thing of course. Then she had this sad look on her face, and said "I wish my mom were here to see her." When you talk about your mom, for some reason I always think of my mom saying that. Your such a wonderful daughter to her. I am very sorry, beyond sorry for your loss. I miss you a lot, and pray for your family.
ReplyDeleteKatherine, what a sweet post. Remembering good times and family is so fulfilling and cheering, I think. You are so full of life - I love it.
ReplyDeleteI thought about your mom all day Saturday and then forgot to call Sunday, I'm sorry.
ReplyDeleteWhat a woman she is, I miss her. And such sweet memories of your family. Love you.
You made me cry. You express yourself so well- and do it in such an amazing way. What a blessing to have had such a great relationship with your mom.
ReplyDeleteI love how much you know about your extended family. Thank you for sharing those sweet memories that make one both laugh and cry. I still think you should write a book - you are so real, so gentle, so open and from the heart. You connect with everyone so naturally and easily. You are gifted - as was your sweet Mom. Happy Birthday to her. I admire you both in so many ways for so many reasons.
ReplyDeleteI was feeling sentimental and google searched meibos and came across your post about your mom's birthday. I started to cry. I loved your mom and always wanted to be like her when I grew up. She influenced me tremendously, even with the distance between us between Utah and California. My dad said to me, the last time I visited Provo, that I reminded him of Barbara. That tickled my heart as I thought she was the most wonderful person I'd ever met. I wish I had grown up closer to all of your family. Thank you so much for posting your blog about your mom's birthday.
ReplyDeleteBTW--I'm Shelly Meibos--#8 of Joan and Richard's kids. Thanks again!!
ReplyDeleteI know you Shelly! Thanks so much for posting. I love your parents very much.
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