Monday, March 24, 2008

Shenanigans

I have a few stories I've been saving up with all the craziness of the wedding and no time to blog. I thought it would be fun to list some of our shenanigans here together.

The other day I was on the phone with Jayne and changed one of Sophie's stinky diapers. We have a Schleich brachiosaurus. (I've mentioned before our family obsession with Schleich animals.) This brachiasaurus is 18 inches tall! Half as tall as Sophie. Anyway, a few minutes later (still on the phone), I look over at Sophie and she has pulled two wipes from the container and she's wiping the underside of the dinosaur and saying, "stinky, stinky!"




We flew in last Tuesday. (We're still here.) I was kind of nervous about traveling alone with both kids, but thankfully my sister-in-law was willing to drive us to the airport instead of parking, leaving our car, and hauling all our luggage onto the shuttle and into the terminal. (Our airline doesn't have a skycab.) Everything was going swimmingly. Franny was being a doll and I was spending most of my time entertaining Miss Sophie. I was just settling in to listen to some XM radio when Franny said, "Mommy, I hurt" and pointed to her tummy. She's never said anything like that before so I thought maybe she might have scratched herself or something. Then her eyes kind of glazed over and she got that look and I knew what was coming. I was completely frozen however and it didn't even occur to me to find that little barf bag in front of me. I just sat and watched it all in utter horror. All over her pants, her seat, her shirt, a little on her new Ariel and Jasmine dolls and even a little on her DVD player! There was a VERY kind lady who I'm sure I'll never forget who helped me clean Franny's seat while I cleaned Franny. I was prepared for a toileting accident so I had a spare pair of pants and panties, but no extra shirt, so I took Sophie's tiny little hoodie and had Franny wear that. She proceeded to throw up four or five more times after that and then she woke up fine the next morning. This was fortunate for Franny because as I told Bobby, my kids have already used up all their sick days.

I got pulled over the other night. I had just left a big SAA meeting where I served four white chocolate strawberry mousse tarts I had made that day. I held the wheel with my left hand and used my right hand to secure my treasured cake pedestals sitting on the floor of the van behind the driver's seat. Every time I had to slow down for a stop sign, those beautiful cake plates would clank together in a most distressing sound, so I stopped using my brake altogether. At one point I was approaching a stop sign and no one was around, so I just coasted right through it. I didn't even pause. I realized how brazen I was to not even scan the area for a policeman and decided to check my rear view mirror and what I found is very similar to the picture above, only it was dark outside. How did he get his lights on so fast? So obediently I pulled over and what seemed like five minutes later (what takes them so long? Mike, can you tell me?), an officer was standing next to my window. He said, "I caught you speeding. You were going 33 back there in a 20. It took me this long to catch up to you-" and I'm just hanging there, waiting for him to say, "and then I saw you drive right through a stop sign. Breathe into this, please." But he didn't. He didn't even mention the stop sign! Then I realized he didn't see me break the law the second time because he was just about to crest a hill when I sailed right through the stop sign! I'm sorry, but I think that's hilarious! I wish my husband had the same sense of humor about my sloppy driving. He still doesn't know about the stop sign! Don't tell him, okay? ;)

14 comments:

murdockspencer said...

I don't know what took him so long. Every cop I've ridden with was out of the car almost before it stopped moving. But then again, on the freeway here is a little different than small town Kansas?

murdockspencer said...

Oh, I forgot to ask, did he write you up or just give you a warning?

Ashley said...

You should have offered him a tart! I would totally exchange a warning for one of those babies. Hope you have a great flight back. I don't know why I miss you more when you're in California. :)

The last Unicorn said...

that is hilarious!!! Did you get out of the ticket??? I bet you used your charm to get yourself out of the first crime... I promise not to mention the second one to Bobby :)

christine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
christine said...

Good luck with the flight back.

I've gotten in trouble with Shawn for not coming to a complete stop. I say I pause. He doesn't find it entertaining either.

I had to delete my last comment because I made a major spelling error and didn't want anyone to know how dumb I am.

The Sandbergs said...

Poor little Franny! And poor you. I hate cleaning up puke. It makes me want to puke myself.

You are a lucky dog Katherine! Good thing he didn't see you break the law a second time! So did he give you a ticket?

TerriLyn said...

Great stories! You are the funniest girl I know. Those tarts were awesome by the way!

Erin said...

Okay, that is just the funniest story about the pull-over. What a great feeling - even though you got pulled over you still felt like you pulled the wool over his eyes! ;) awesome. :)

Melissa said...

I am in suck suspense.. did you get a ticket or what? That was hilarious that he didn't see you go through the stop sign! Those darn 20 mph speed limits here! WHo actually goes 20? Not me!

Melissa said...

I meant **such suspense... oops

Katherine said...

I got a ticket. I tried to work my wiles and charm him out of a ticket, but who am I kidding? I am so not smooth!

hayley said...

Those are some great stories as usual. That so stinks about the flight, but how fortunate that someone helped:) I have never noticed you talk about schliek animals, but my mom is obsessed with them too. And as for the car ride, I was cracking up that you didn't want to break because of the clanking. But I think 20 miles per hours is ridiculous unless kids are coming home from school!!

Brendon and Stephanie said...

Great stories. :) It was fun to see you guys at the wedding! We just posted a few pictures from the temple. (brendonandstephanie.blogspot.com)

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